nothing even matters

i wish people would read my posts and talk to me about them

but no

i really really like you and i was wondering if we could maybe go on a date…i mean i know about your sexuality, and in the past few weeks, i’ve come to the conclusion that i’m gray-a, and i just i wouldn’t overstep any boundaries because i think you’re so sweet and lovely and i just

i’m sorry i probably sound so dumb, i’m sorry for bothering you.

ugh ugh ugh

i don’t even know right now

i

am so

epressed

de

everyone is so much better at everything than i am literally like

i just

i’m so absolutely useless and stupid and dumb and fat and ugly and i have ugly bad hair and i’m stupid stupid stupid

and lazy as fuck

and sad all the time

and nobody ever likes me

ever

like

ever never

and if they do

they live 500000000000000000000 miles away

like i just wish

i had the courage

to talk to people and tell them i thought they were cute and hey we should date or something

like i just

ugh……………………….

i actually cant stand to be alive anymore

and alone

like

this

like i literally cant

i hate everyone and just i hate myself the most

and nothing will ever change

because i am thinking that nothing ever will so it wont

and i cant change my way of thinking because its all i have ever known

and i never accept compliments

an d just

i wish i could die yep

on my 21st man

two years

only a bit longer

only a bit longer

oky so honestly i have so much rage in the past half hour - hour

my dad and i were supposed to go to tim hortons for one after i came back from school but he said he was going out so i said okay i’ll just stay at the school with my friends for a bit

so i did

and then my mom calls at 4:20 and is like yelling at me

"where the fuck are you you’re supposed to be home an hour ago what the fuck what the fuck!!!"

and i was like seriously man i dont even care i can have friends

and she kept yelling about how she’s going to see a movie with my dad and i was like what the fuck… no wrONG i was supposed to go to timmies with daddy after school but he said he was going out so i stayed a while at school instead of waiting for his ass to come home

and so i walked home etc and my parents drive by and yeah whatever

then when they finally get back home i was like

SO HOW DID YOU LIKE THE MOVIE?!?!?! (cabin in the woods, i gave it like 4.8 out of five holy shit i loved it so much)

and my mum was like: that movie sucked holy fuck 2 out of 5 stars

and i was like what the heck dont even talk to me hahaha!!!

as a joke

and then my dad comes in the house and my mum is like so how did u like the movie

and my dad says

"FUCK it was SUCH a bad movie oh my GOD 2 out of 5, how can chris hemsworth even think that that is a good movie to act in?! it was so HORRIBLE he must be DESPERATE for money!!!"

and i was like what the…. dude… i thought it was a good movie??

and he kept going on and on about how shitty it was

and so THEN i mentioned how it was actually sorta be a comedy horror, right?

and he was like” meh it was sort of a tongue in cheek movie”

and i asked what that menat

AND HOLY F C U C K KCVBJH

HE FLIPPED HIS SHIT EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!

HE WAS LIKE

"WHAT THE FUCK TASH HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW THAT PHRASE HA HA ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME W O W YOU ARE SO FUCKING STUPID YOU CALL YOURSELF FUCKING CANADIAN??? HA HA HA HA WOW AND YOU WANT TO BE A FUCKING /AUTHOR/ AND YOU DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS??? DO YOU EVEN FUCKING READ??!?!?!?!?!"

an i was like what the fuck…………………… i just didn’t know what it meant…??? i’m sorry???

like i don’t even know what the fuck his problem is why would he get so legitimately ANGRY over such a tiny tiny little thing?! so what if i dont know what a phrase means…???

i bet ou he doesnt know half the stupid internet phrases that are used a lot in today’s kid’s generation etc like really come on

it just pissed me off so much that he would scream at me for THAT

and make me feel like shit etc

ugh

and then i dont know i went to get a second bowl of popcorn and my mom

UGBGsjhfjs

was like

HA HA WOW YOU’RE EATING A SECOND BOWL HOW MUCH DO YOU FUCKING NEED TASH???

and i was like: … wh…

and my dad pipes in: YEAH HAHA YOU DON’T GET ENOUGH, HUH?

and i was like: really? fucking REALLY? you are going to fucking mock and make fun of me for eating two bowls of popcorn? dudes you just came back from the mo v i e theatre you ate the whole bag of popcorn so shut the fuck up

GOD NOW I WANT TO CRY

WOW MY PARENTS ARE ACTUALLY FUCKIN G PIECES OF SHIT

i actually cant even stand them how can you even say that to your daughter??!?!!

and my mom especially because she KNOWS i had an eating disorder i just don’t understand how she can think that that is okay………

like i just

i cant deal with anything anymore with my fucking family

i hate every one of them

and also my brothers were supposed to be in bed at like 8:30 and now it’s 9:40 and they are still awake so i was like

"hey go to bed man!!!"

and my dad fucking screamed at me “DONT TELL THEM WHAT TO DO TASH HOLY FU C K” and he didnt say anything

and like god

just i dont

why

the injustice in this house is so

horrible

i want to just kill myself so i dont have to be associated with these fucking ass wipes anymore

i hate my family and i hate my name and i hate myself and i wish i was someone else who people actually liked because i will never get a boyfriend and i will never fall in love or nything

and i jusdtyghdgf

i really just

i wish that i could just

die

i dont want to go down now and get my ativan because my parents will know i am crying and if i tell them its because you implied that i was eating bad because i got a second bowl of popcorn and because i didnt know what a fucking P H R A S E meant

they will actually laugh at me and mock me more

thats how

horrible they are

i justgndfbdgj

i never want to wake up

i hate to be alive

i really want to kiss someone right now holy fuck

like i just want to have a crazy make out session with lots of tongues and biting and chin and jaw kissing aND NECK KISSING

and collarbone kissing

holy h e l l

why am i single

i have been single for too long okay

TOO L oN G

wow i really wish it was friday today i hate school i hate my life i hate teachers and students and learning

i really dont want to

exist

anymore because existing is so dumb and i feel like i dont exist in the first place but only mentally etc and

i still exist physically but i am on another plane of exitence

that is why my life is so bad and fucked up

yep

w o w holy shit i am hating everyone right now and i just want to die and i am suicidal and

wow

fictional roleplay blogs A+

it isn’t real it’s fake nothing matters why am i so dumb and stupid jesus christ

i just actually

yeah

i want to die wow

and i mean like it isnt

its fake

it

it isnt real

i am so empty and sad but i cant even fucking cry what is wrong with me oh my fucking god

i cant

even

cry

what is wrong with me seriously i cant even

i

i cant take anything anymore

i dont want to exist